“If love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction that never fails to lay stress on a plus and a minus.”
- Emma Goldman
Cons in giving? That sounds terrible, right? I'll be the first to admit that there are definite cons in giving. I'm not speaking of material items, but of more intangible things that people appraise differently, like friendship, support, concern, love, advice, etc. Unfortunately, there is no predetermined value, so lopsidedness is a definite, potential risk.
The pros of giving are obvious. When you love someone, you will do anything in your power to give everything you have. It makes you feel warm inside. It gives you a feeling of lightness, fulfillment, of being needed and wanted. When it is reciprocated, the top of the world is attainable.
When it isn't reciprocated, or when it is grossly lopsided, is when giving starts becoming tricky. Continuing to give to a person who doesn't know how to give back starts to be less about the feeling of goodness that usually accompanies it, and more about testing that person to confirm or deny the feelings of doubt you have. At that point, giving is practically pointless because it is being done with the wrong intentions in mind. It is then, that a choice needs to be made. You either choose to continue giving knowing that there is absolutely nothing in it for you, or you can burn that bridge. I admire and respect those who decide on the former and continue to give because their love is enduring no matter what. However, I can also respect those who choose the latter and give up. I understand that feeling personally and sometimes it needs to be done to rid yourself of the negativity associated with that relationship. But ultimately, you should just do what feels right to yourself, and find peace with that.
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