Giving thanks (in rhyme)

Thanks for friends, old and new 

My family tried and true 

Hope amidst despair 

Comfort, warmth, and care 

Faith in times of doubt 

Life's ever-winding route 

Humor and my health 

And a heap of inner wealth 

Knowledge and perseverance 

Things I get on clearance 

A smile or a wink 

People who actually think 

The internet, back scratches, and my awesome bed 

All the little things I know that can go unsaid

All of these things and more make me thankful for my life

I am what I dreamed to be; a mother, sister, friend, and wife.

A happy addiction

I had a great weekend.  Not because anything spectacular happened per se -- in fact, it had the makings of being quite dreadful.  The youngest is still sick, and that coupled with her I-am-going-to-get-what-I-want-or-else-I-will-have-a-complete-meltdown-terrible-twos, meant that it could have been a LONG, horrific weekend.  And yet I managed to ignore the negativity.  Instead, I found myself floating through the weekend, weightless and carefree.  Nothing was going to get me down.  And why is that?

Because I felt happy. Unexplainably, undeniably, and inextricably happy.  And now I am addicted.

I can't put my finger quite on it.  Regular happy moments interspersed throughout the day is normal for me.  But a prolonged euphoric state is not.  And I know that there  is something out of the ordinary when,  at a party yesterday, my husband knocked over my drink and it spilled all over my pants.  Take that situation any other day at a party, and you could be certain that I would be at least slightly irritated and embarrassed.  But all I did (other than try to dry myself off as much as possible) was smile and say "wow".  I may have even laughed.  I just didn't care.  Nothing was going to get me down.

Now, I don't want anyone thinking that, in general, I am an unhappy person.  That is not what I am getting at. I love my life.  But feeling constantly happy and type-B no matter what obstacles present themselves, is not characteristic of my true nature.  It is pretty well known that I am a classic type-A Virgo who stresses quite easily.  And yet here I am, ready and willing to betray my inner self, searching for greener, I'm-on-top-of-the-world, pastures.  And for all you naysayers out there, I leave you with this -- so what if it isn't realistic? I can dream, can't I?

Life lessons to live by

I received this from a good friend yesterday and something moved within me that I just had to share it too. It was written by Regina Brett of The Plain Dealer in Cleveland, Ohio. 

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Do blogs have theme songs?

If they do, I've found the PERFECT song for this blog.  It describes to a "T" my outlook on life, the choices we have to make in our daily existence, moving past struggles and mistakes, and making the best and most out of the good things in life. 

World Wide Open

by Love and Theft

I need to move, I need to breathe
Shake the things that pull on me
Holding me down, slowing me down
I need to run, I need to fight
Let go of the things that I am holding onto
Maybe I need you

Just open up my eyes so I can see
It's always been there right in front of me

Roads...which one will I take?
There's a world wide open
This world wide open
Marks...which one will I make?
There's a world wide open
This world wide open

Everyday's an open page
A brand new start, a fresh clean slate
Given to me
Now it's up to me
Buy my best and lose my worst
Try to heal the things I've hurt
I need you, I know I need you

Make my mistakes and leave them in the past
Make the most of every chance I have

Roads...which one will I take?
There's a world wide open
This world wide open
Marks...which one will I make?
There's a world wide open
This world wide open

And when you grab it by the handles and dream
As its spilling over me
As its spilling over me...

Roads...which one will I take?
There's a world wide open
This world wide open
Marks...which one will I make?
There's a world wide open
This world wide open

Roads...which one will I take?
There's a world wide open
This world wide open
Marks...which one will I make?
There's a world wide open
This world wide open

The pros and cons of giving

“If love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction that never fails to lay stress on a plus and a minus.”

- Emma Goldman

Cons in giving?  That sounds terrible, right?  I'll be the first to admit that there are definite cons in giving.  I'm not speaking of material items, but of more intangible things that people appraise differently, like friendship, support, concern, love, advice, etc.  Unfortunately, there is no predetermined value, so lopsidedness is a definite, potential risk.

The pros of giving are obvious.  When you love someone, you will do anything in your power to give everything you have.  It makes you feel warm inside.  It gives you a feeling of lightness, fulfillment, of being needed and wanted.  When it is reciprocated, the top of the world is attainable.

When it isn't reciprocated, or when it is grossly lopsided, is when giving starts becoming tricky.  Continuing to give to a person who doesn't know how to give back starts to be less about the feeling of goodness that usually accompanies it, and more about testing that person to confirm or deny the feelings of doubt you have.  At that point, giving is practically pointless because it is being done with the wrong intentions in mind.  It is then, that a choice needs to be made.  You either choose to continue giving knowing that there is absolutely nothing in it for you, or you can burn that bridge.  I admire and respect those who decide on the former and continue to give because their love is enduring no matter what.  However, I can also respect those who choose the latter and give up.  I understand that feeling personally and sometimes it needs to be done to rid yourself of the negativity associated with that relationship. But ultimately, you should just do what feels right to yourself, and find peace with that. 

Truth and lies

"...and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free."  John 8:32 

I hate dishonesty.  I LOATHE it.  I also hate feeling that someone is not being truthful, but not having the evidence to prove or disprove it.  I know there are plenty of people out there who have no problem lying, whether it be an all-out, blatant lie or lying by purposefully not admitting any wrongdoing.  I think there are more people comfortable with the latter, and I have to say that it is disheartening.

What are we saving or helping by lying?  Certainly not the person that is being lied to.  In fact, all it does is cause more destruction and hurt to the person than any piece of damaging truth could ever do.  So why has it become status quo to keep the peace, skirt around the truth, or conveniently leave out something potentially damaging?   Have we become so delusional that we have come to think that it is better to lie, than to stand up to the truth?

I don't understand it, and maybe I never will.  All I can do is my best to always tell the truth, no matter what, and that hopefully, others will do the same.  How liberating that would be...

Let's talk about the race card!

Last Wednesday, ANTM ran an episode that some people think was a mockery of people of different races. The models were directed to portray a "hapa", or someone who embodies half one race and half another.  And because a couple of the models didn't know much about the nationality they were portraying, some critics said that it, in essence, it only encouraged racism.  Here is one of many articles that was published about this:  http://omg.yahoo.com/news/americas-next-top-model-causes-a-stir-after-bi-racial-photo-shoot/30374.

I am irritated, but for a completely different reason.  I'm a "hapa" too -- half Taiwanese and half Italian.  For years, I have felt passionately about the fact that there isn't enough presence and recognition of the fact that there are millions of people out there in the world who celebrate a mixed heritage.  When I complete online surveys, and have to choose "Other" because I am being forced to choose one race over the other (White vs. Asian), I get extremely annoyed.  So, when I see this episode, all I want to do is applaud ANTM for trying to have people with mixed heritage embodied in their models.  Who cares if they were painted to appear darker than they are or were uncertain about the people they were portraying?  The fact of the matter is that they displayed beauty that is rarely seen on television -- and for that, I am appreciative.

Who are these people that disapprove of this anyway?  Are they people like me?  I doubt it.